READ MY LIPS.........

Change takes desire. Improvement requires dedication. And progress costs MONEY. There are going to be a lot of Progressions in My Kingdom that are going to be very costly, such as universal healthcare and an impressive military presence. I want to reassure you now that I will not be raising income tax. In fact, there is a very high probability that income taxes will go down. I know that sounds like a politician blowing smoke up your ass, but I am NOT a politician, and although I am all for a little anal play, I think blowing smoke up one’s ass is just generally unhealthy.

So where am I going to get the funds without raising income taxes???? I have two words for you…… MARIJUANA. Okay, so maybe I can’t count. I’m going to be KING, not accountant of Commonland.

I don’t want to debate the issue of Marijuana. That’s one of the nice things about being King. You don’t debate, you simply decapitate. Just kidding, but seriously, I will have to decapitate some people at the beginning to get everybody on board with my ideas, but that will be discussed later.

I am a realist. Why spend BILLIONS of dollars on trying to stop people from smoking Marijuana when you can tax it and make TRILLIONS. Maybe I’m just a simpleton who never went to college (just seemed like too much busy work), but I play poker and it’s very simple: Negative Billions vs. Positive Trillions equals…. Well, I don’t know how many zeros that is, but I do know it’s a butt load.

Here’s my solution. The government will grow, regulate, distribute and tax the shit out of Marijuana. I am aware of the entrepreneurially spirit out there that says “I’ll grow my own, screw King Common”. This may surprise you, but I am totally okay with that. It’s what I will call “informed decision”. If you choose to grow, sell & distribute NON government approved Marijuana, then you need to be prepared for the consequences (which I will address in a moment). As King, I will be able to regulate the quantity and quality of the Marijuana inhaled & consumed (brownies) in My Kingdom. For all I care, we can even involve all the tree hugging hippies to create an “organic” Marijuana to make granola eating people happy.

With the availability of LEGAL Marijuana, there comes great responsibility. I will require my scientists to find a way to test not only the presence of Marijuana in the blood (only a small source for testing, like a finger poke), but the amount in the citizens system. My police officers will not only need to know if it is in the blood, but how much, and could it cause impairment. These test results will need to be available in a few minutes to officers on scene.

If you are found to be impaired due to the amount of Marijuana in your system, then you will be put into the system as an “abuser”. The information will be recorded onto your microchip (as previously discussed). If you are a registered abuser, then you will not be allowed to purchase any Marijuana for 6 months. If you are found to be in possession of “illegal” (non governmentally grown) Marijuana, then you are automatically be sentenced to 6 months hard labor (Hard Labor to be defined in future edicts). If you are found to be growing, processing or distribution of non governmentally grown Marijuana, you will be executed on the spot. I know that may sound extreme, but think about it. If you know you will be shot on the spot, you are far less likely to break the law and far more likely to play by the rules and just pay taxes. And keep in mind, the more taxes that are brought into the treasury, the more I can spend on improving the quality of life for all the citizens of Commonland.

If you are one of my loyal citizens that is a Marijuana user, then hopefully you will be happy with this declaration. If you are not a user, then hopefully you will be able to rest comfortably knowing that regulation and enforcement of production, sales and use are going to be very closely watched and regulate. And finally if you are a loyal citizen who doesn’t use and doesn’t care about those who use, then you are happy no matter what!!! Who says you cannot please all of the people all of the time.

Your Supreme Ruler

King Common